so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
