the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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