Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
