Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
