I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
