I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
