with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize