I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
