My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
