Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
