i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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