I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
