A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
