bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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