i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
