So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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