I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
FUCK WHALES
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
