I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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