i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
The ass gains better be worth it
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
