You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
