absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
