How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
