Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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