scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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