Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
