Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
