SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
