She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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