the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
