I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize