I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
