Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize