New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
