I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
