hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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