yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
