Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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