I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
