Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
