When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
