talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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