Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I will die if light touches me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
