His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
