He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
