my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
