so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
