4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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