I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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