Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
