I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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