The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
