The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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