respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
