SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
